a true to life porn story....

* grins * ever read the constantly amusing stories about going out to the clubs and meeting a gorgeous lady and doing her with ya big cock until she screams in ecstasy...??.... how about we have the actual realistic stories for a change

o here is my version lol


the evening was well into the night time, as I sipped my 8th drink, and stared bleary eyed around the bar.... taking in the few remaining patrons that were not groping each other like zombies on a no brains diet, the trans over in the corner, sucking madly on another half drunk and butt ugly male who was desperate for a final chance at some form of sex,, rather than a quiet wank at home

I was not the kind of person that often went to the bi bar in town, but it was nice to go to a place where I just didn't fit right in.... surrounded by trans, les, and gays, all staying in their lil cliches, like the kids at their first high school dance

i looked back at my glass and sighed.... hope i remembered to buy the new batteries for my BOB, ... BOB was my best friend at times... and the most action my bedroom had seen since the time i dropped my ciggie in bed and burnt a hole in the sheets, part of the mattress and a nice round spot on my pubes... every lady and man needs A friend called BOB around the house for emergencies... and hand cramps.....I sighed again as I heard the male in the corner, groan, moan and blow his load, and i hear the cursing of the trans as the male pulled out of his mouth too fast and the trans got a new type of makeup...

home to BOB, i decided... my ever friendly, always there, never going limp or flat, unless it was the batteries failing, BOB..battery operated boyfriend

i polished off the last mouthful of my drink, dumped the glass drop on the booze soaked bar mat, and waved a friendly goodbye and a empathic no to the barman and his hint at a good night in his bed.... I was horny, desperate, and perfered my partners to be under the age of 70

I never saw the lady, almost behind me, until the split second before my head hits hers, my feet found her toes and her drink found the nice spot of her cleavage .......

our eyes met and there was a instant attraction.... between her knee and my crotch....then my face and the floor as the slurred words, " stupied, fankin, jock off " drifted down to my ears, just before, the lady, stumbled and fell over me..impacting with the floor with all the grace and skill of a sumo wrestler

I took the time to give a few apologies, a quick grope and a good look over the lady and decided that she was quite the stunner....I know i was stunned by her knee in my crotch earlier.....so i offered to buy her a drink or two.... and myself... well i knew that the more you drink.. the better they look.... I still needed a few drinks to make her look average

after another hour and $50 of drinks.... we made our way to her place.....or the closest thing to it..... the nearest toilets....where we made a effort to kiss passionately... or more correctly, see how far her heavily applied lipstick would smear....

i grabbed her and pulled her close, holding on tightly as her tongue explored the depths of my mouth... which had the same effect as a finger in the back of the throat... and next moment i was having a threesome with her and the toilet bowl as I was vomiting with the same amount of force that the lady was trying to remove my pants

a final heave, accompanied by the iron handshake of a olympic weight lifter, on my balls and I was almost ready for action again.....so I washed out my mouth until I felt it was safe to kiss again...

i tried in vain to straighten up tho my balls were getting sucked right off my body and her nose was jammed hard into my anus, and with her 2 hands having death grips on my nipples, i was going nowhere
it took a few minutes and my balls losing all feeling before she released me and allowed me to turn around long enuf for she to see my dick and mumble... I have had gerkins that are bigger

i pushed her back against the wall, hard, and decided to show her my skill at undoing a bra to release her ample breasts.... finally admitting defeat as she released it with 2 fingers and did her best to suffocate me between her firm perky breasts..... I say firm and perky as her bra was still half holding them up

my nimble fingers slipped down the front of her dress and encountered the marvels of no knickers, as her tongue endeavored to blend my brains to death thru my ear.... and a bucket of drool that was running down the side of my neck....

my cock was hard, and erect and i was ready for action as I lifted her dress and dropped to my knees ....and moved them pretty damm fast as they grew wet from the urine on the floor....she grabbed my head and pushed it deep between her legs, the musky smell filling my nostrils in the brief moments before i become unable to breath, as she rocked herself upon my face.... suddenly groaning deep and loud, as I managed to turn my face enuf to draw a few gasps of air and the smell of a warm and slightly odorous pussy...
I worked my way to her clit and used my tongue to tickle it, as she groaned louder and louder, slamming her buttocks hard against the wall, until her knocked me over and I watched as she continued to butt fuck the wall...the glory hole and the hard cock that was sticking thru the glory hole and right up her ass

rather than get angry, I was even more randy, .. raising to my feet, i aimed my cock straight and true, and with the skill or expertise that only happens once i a life time... i actually got it in first time.... and promptly got deafened as she screamed right in my ear

man that lady could come.... and come she did... and wet herself too... down my legs and soaking my pants... I didn't care.... I was in heaven as i hold her ass cheeks and drive my cock into her, hard and deep... or as hard and deep as a drunk mans half erect middle aged dick can get

I could hear the male on the other side of the wall, enjoying the sensation of that ass on his cock, and I found my ass begging for that cock too....and as she collapsed into my arms, I deftly spun her around and pushed my cock hungary ass against the wall... and.... nothing..... the reason why she had collapsed was he had come... and gone..... i sighed..... my hard on died... and my sex life laughed at me

she gave me a nice kill before turning around to pick up her purse, and with her dress still caught up and her ass cheek in full view....she farted with all the force of air in her rectal tract..... and I got the anal version of the white rainbow.....i sighed.....

it was a interesting night..... a nice lady...... sex...... that 5 o clock shadow.......nice drinks... that adams apple...... a pleasure night out....that slightly deep voice.......I can't complain, the night could have been worse............hang on ...5 o clock shadow???...adams apple ???...slightly deep voice ??? on a female ????.....yeah.... the night could get worse......
... BOB has flat batteries.......ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wow...pretty impressive. I can only think of one experience of pulling [my first time, always the most memorable] when I was very drunk and that was quite unspectacular....I was actually pulled by this bloke in the bar, we kissed at midnight on the street, then went back to his place for..... nothing much. To quote Macbeth on the topic of drinking [ah, the old GCSE English memories are coming back to me now lol].... 'it makes you, then it mars you'. Even though the sheer volume of drink we had both had kind of put any sort of sex out of the question it still felt good to fall asleep next to him and just hold him. It was kind of a one night stand though as he got together with someone else a couple of days later. Never had any kind of public sex though if its anything like your account then it might be worth checking out when I have a lot more courage...or have drunk a lot more lol.

Izzfan (very impressed)

Long Duck,

Thanks. :bigrin: I'll be the first to admit that sometimes what I find just plain outright comical may seem strange to others and sometimes maybe even a little frightening to myself as well. That was one incredibly funny piece of work that had me rolling on the mental "urine free" floor of my mind with laughter. Whever you pulled that from, I'd call it sacred and a gift...I believe I feel inspired LOL

Ambi :)