Bisexual in a World With More Than Two Genders

[shiver]

everydayu seeing the same article posted made me wonder why bother returning, but I was confident that I'd eventually see a change, and here it is, something new. The question is, when does this article expire?

[sweetsugamommi]

Hi, Completely:

I TOTALLY agree with everything you've said, and can't put it any better! Also, although I would love to have the honor of experiencing a relationship with someone who identifies as transsexual, I haven't as yet. But if I did/do, I wouldn't begin calling myself "pansexual" or any "other sexual". Bisexual is how I identify, because bisexual is what I am!

Even though my screen name may appear as hypocritical to what I am about to say, I firmly believe in my stance and wish that more people on the site would subscribe to it:

Why is it necessary to label one's self as "pansexual", "trisexual", "omnisexual" or whatever other new-fangled term some bored individual creates? Does it really matter in the grander scope of who you are, that a specific term be constructed and custom fitted to you for being who you are? Do you really feel it necessary to string together long-worded explanations of your sexual preferences down to the smallest quirk? And does it really matter that people know the exact taste and flavor of your sexual life-style? I don't know about you, but simply calling myself bisexual is enough of an often socially difficult label to wear. I don't feel it necessary to delve deeper and over-think things.

In the most basic nutshell, we are all bisexual in one way or another; Everyone on this site. Just because you may be attracted to both men and women with similar features, or transvestites, or pre or post-ops, you find it necessary to specifically carve a smaller sub-niche in the bisexual life-style. Why? Is it to have a lesser-known, elite identity that fewer people possess? Is there a need to feel special and separated from the rest of your peers? If you ask me, I say quit doddling with menial mini titles. Do what you do and don't feel the need to categorize yourself. Life is too complicated as it is, without adding further unnecessary labels.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm bisexual... Who needs a snazzy, complicated term for the free, open, and wonderfully diverse life-style we live? Not me. Just be bi and enjoy it.

[RockGardener]

Ok, bear with me. I have an image that I would like to share with you....

Monosexual, unisexual, whatever... You put out one hand, you get one thing.
Bisexual.....................................You put out two hands, you get everything that exists between the two hands.

Being bisexual doesn't have to mean just that you like M and F, it can mean that you like everything from M to F.

[ghytifrdnr]

Ok, bear with me. I have an image that I would like to share with you....

Monosexual, unisexual, whatever... You put out one hand, you get one thing.
Bisexual.....................................You put out two hands, you get everything that exists between the two hands.

Being bisexual doesn't have to mean just that you like M and F, it can mean that you like everything from M to F.

Oh, that's very good too!

[Papelucho]

Thanks for the new article.
The questions made me think, and since we are gifted people with our sexualities, it's important for us to do that, and discuss it! I identify as a bisexual because that's what seems like me...that word and the idea is what fits who I am.

When others identify themselves as pansexual or any other new term, they're not doing it for me, or for anyone else, they're doing it for themselves. It's what fits who they are, and that's the true freedom that we're striving for...to be able to identify yourself freely and without judgment.

I love the Native American stories that I've heard, and was so happy to see it come up on this thread. My idea about smaller cultures, like many of the Native American tribes, is that each individual is a real part of the ever changing culture. There is enough room in the world and in the universe for their soul, and their personality to shape everyone else. Differences are regarded with awe and respect.

It is not surprising that there are many different identifications on this site, because this is where the gifted come.

Thanks again for the article.

[Bianrky]

As a Native American I don't find this to be a native american analysis, culuturally or spiritually. A Native American Analsis would involve an in depth cultural identification of Native American culture and the bisexual aspects of our culture.
Your analysis is perfectly fine for you. I don't consider myself bisexual because I find myself attracted to two different kind of men. I don't consider that to be bisexual. I find myself attracted all kinds of whole intelectual people who fall almost anywhere in the continuum between feminine and masculine (personally not into either extreme in male or female.
Now in my opinion and based on my knowledge of my people, I know that orgies were common. I know that there were men who had male genitalia etc.. who were part of the female social or sororital band who slept with men. I know that in my culture both nurtuing and the warrior traits are admired regardless of genitalia. I know young men are often bonded in ceremonies naked and in close proximity in the Sweat (only one example). I know that Christianized Indians screwed a lot of that up and today many percieve Native culture to be much more conservative than it really is, among traditional spritualists. I feel this is a Native American persprective.

Onto the socalled "queer activist" community. Maybe where you live bisexuals are considered part of "the movement". Here in South Florida being a bi male is kind of a social death sentence. In fact the "Queer" community center in Palm Beach FLorida is called "The Gay Lesbain COmmunity Center" not GLBT. I am no longer shocked when some log cabin Republican RICH WHITE GAY or Lesbian ACTIVIST tells me "there is no such thing as a bisexual". When one is out and bi and male it can be a really lonely place.

Personally I am really only attracted strongly to other bi men and more attracted to bi women than straight women. Personally? I think everyone has the potential to bi.
If I was on a desert island with another male for the rest of my life that I found attractive wouldn't I be by definition "Gay"?
On the transgendered subject? More power to everyone and everything they are. It does nothing for me. When it does it is usually the mind and personality in that trans person I connect with. Not the fact that they are Trans per se.
Anyway. Just wanted to share a little of my Native American bi perspective and how it might relate to actual Native American culture.

[Bianrky]

Someone asked why is it important how people label each other, using this new fangled term or that?

In my opinion most communities have made it unsafe and challenged to call yourself bisexual. It doesn't fit in. So we look for a label people WILL accept.

[meteast chick]

My only question:

Does Campbell's have this much trouble wth labels?

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

[Searchingfortwo]

My only question:

Does Campbell's have this much trouble wth labels?

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

Now that was good. Keep in mind that Campbells has somewhere upwards of 57 labels though.

[benjiboy]

Hi. Here we go again. The question of labelling! Why do we see the need to label ourselves? We are what we are! I have been openly bisexual or gay or whatever people want to class me, but to me I am just that, me! We are all individuals and as such have a right to be who we feel we are. There is no need to "conform" to any particular group. There are so many diverse ranges of sexuality, and each has it's own identity. There are enough difficulties facing us without our adding to it. Just be who you want to be, accept others for who they want to be, and wow! What a great world we would be living in. Take care all of you

Pete

[La Bestia]

I am not 50% straight and 50% gay, or any other mix of %. I am 100% BISEXUAL and I like masculine and feminine equal much whatever the original gender.
Physical characteristics in any mix in any way appeals to me, and I do not understand why the word "bisexual" is a problem. If I use the word queer, I am always seen and met as homo, unless I speak up. The other words like pan or multisexual ( I am not attracted to animals and kids or cars) :-))), does not say much in my opinion.

[lookn0ver]

lots of good thought. i truly admire people trying to reach some kind of happy medium because i haven't gotta clue what i am and what i am capable of sexually speaking. i love the uniform i was dealt and what it has afforded me to seek out my identity with. and i have had many different kinds of opportunities pass before me ''if ever'' i wanted to partake of. to define myself sexually with a label? ooo! that's hard and i think i'd better stick with hypocrite and backslider and some other choice indications of total ignorance.i see the the person and how they react as i may find myself together with them in ''whatever'' situation i may happen to share. now i may like or hate or be indifferent and on an on who knows and same as they with me.
ignorance is a multi sexual thang.
i have had some sexual persuasions try to KIDNAP me into their lifestyle and i did not appreciate this as i was quite content with what is was i was learning to be at an easy pace..."DON"T RUSH ME BIG BOY! i got lifetimes heaped upon lifetimes to get to where it that i have to go.
i like some of every walk of life i have cosmically been allowed (ready) to meet up with and i admire what it is they stand for and i felt mutually respected for my own choices as well from these lovely creatures. BUT not everybody is so deserving . these other types ,they choose the fast way and haven't a clue and just want to dictate fashion and i am just not buying it.i'll shove it down my own throat thanx when the time is right about what sexuality i want to call myself and i won't be taking it very lightly when it is that i do.as for now i consider anything i meet out there as fair game if i ever want to bump ulgies with it and i feel the last thing i want to do is have labels or limitations clogging my drains.i vote for ''uni~sex.
( that's YOU an I having SEX!)

[GaryGabriella]

I really like the independent thinking of looknOver. Your expressions of being in charge of your own destiny are nicely interwoven with an openness to whatever possibilities may present themselves. You've communicated some of my own desires and beliefs in a way I have not been able to. Thanks to this site, I have been exploring and soon will be experiencing a multi-gender encounter.
As for myself, I am discovering the joys of not fitting into a category. More and more, I'm embracing my feminine side which has laid dormant for too long. I am experiencing the joy a butterfly must feel, spreading her wings to fly for the first time.
In flight,
GaryGabriella

[hadra]

i understand and can empathize with people who say they find the term "bisexual" is not as inclusive as other terms, which is why i often prefer to use the word "queer" to label myself, because it leaves room for the gender spectrum and has a political/cultural resonance for me personally.

But all too often, "queer" is still read as lesbian or gay, and i am clearly neither. Given the visibility and credibility issues *still* faced by bisexuals, i also use the term "bi" regularly.

However, i *am* liking Rock Gardener's explanation "from m to f"... would that we could spread that idea around!

Still, i'm always curious as to why bisexuals seem to bear the brunt more than anyone else -- lesbian, gay or straight -- for being responsible for addressing the lack of label inclusivity when it comes to the gender continuum?

In my experience, i've seen the Toronto bi community as a whole be very welcoming to trans folk, and i've heard trans newcomers express pleasant surprise at how comfortable they've felt at meetings and socials.

And i would never expect anyone to put their energies into "bi activism" or any kind of activism that didn't call to them. Not only is it presumptuous, it's also not practical. Volunteer work and activism has to come from the heart, or there's no energy in it at all!

Of course i would understand how trans issues would be closer to transfolks' hearts than other issues, it's a core identity issue that affects every waking moment. i would hope, however, that we could be strong allies, along with everyone else on the Q continuum.

[jamieknyc]

I'm glad that you started your article from a Native American Perspective....some Native American cultures view "soft men" as sacred beings who eventually become shamans in their communities. This duality is very much in tune with the duality of the Creator: male/female dualities. If they mesh together in this physical world then this duality becomes very special. Many "Bi-Sexuals" don't even understand their gift. It is a gift, though that has to be discovered from within. Please read Shamanic Voices by Joan Halifax, PhD ISBN 0 14 019.348 0

Personally, I am always skeptical of things that are claimed to be 'Native American perspectives,' especially when they are touted by people who aren't Native Americans who claim that 'Native Amerian perspectives' agree with whatever New Age idea happens to be in fashion at the moment.

[vittoria]

Personally, I am always skeptical of things that are claimed to be 'Native American perspectives,' especially when they are touted by people who aren't Native Americans who claim that 'Native Amerian perspectives' agree with whatever New Age idea happens to be in fashion at the moment.

Verily.

[MarieDelta]

Transgender identity has been with us since before we knew of such things.

It exists in all cultures, revered or shunned, and it is part of human nature.

To say that someone is better because they have a transgendered identity isevery bit as errant as saying someone is worse for having a differently gendered identity.

On the other hand, how much have instituitions to gain by categorising human into two seperate and neat piles?

The church and the state have used our genders against us for too long. Ever stop to think why you need to put your gender down on almost every government form? Why do you need to include gender on you drivers license?
Why is it that the state & church both oppose the idea of breaking down the gender binary (something that does not exist in nature btw.) Things in nature arent as simple as male and female, homo and hetero. Gender is not a natural construct, it is a social construct based on a natural bias.

Most of nature exist somewhere in the middle between here and there.

[bimale47tn]

well im not sure even about my self as i love males and females and transgenders so like this story how would i say that im bisexual are am i some thing else im not sure in reality i like sex with anyone so what would i call myself

[Melissakah]

Aliexpress - your star sales...

[void()]

... If “bi” literally was to mean “two,” how was I to identify with a sexuality that found me attracted to men and women, both trans and non—trans? Did my preferences including ‘man’ and ‘woman’ have me meet the criteria for bisexuality? Is that what I wanted? Who made this decision? Did bisexuality leave space for me to be attracted to people who identified as both or neither gender, genderqueer or two—spirited? Did, perhaps, the term ...

Here I find the answer, at least for myself continually rings objectively true. That answer is I am what I and whatever I hold as Providence choose to be. I define myself by and large and for me that definition came from a lot of what some call soul searching. I am the I am that remain in the silence inside that resonates the response I am to the question who am i? This is my personal experience only and for me it is highly personal, spiritual. To me it reflects the core of a belief that it is the Holy Grail a lot of other world beliefs strive to find. In that manifestation at least as far as I'm concerned, there is Gnosticism, a knowing instead of a thinking or speculating. Ergo, I can often see myself as Gnostic while still being a devout Agnostic Atheist.

• Are you bisexual for being attracted to two genders?
• When you say or hear “both genders” does that include trans men and women?
• Can you be bisexual if you are attracted to two genders, but those genders do not fall gracefully into the categories of “men” and “women”?
• Are you bisexual because you are attracted to two “types” of women?
• Should gender be interchangeable with any other defining feature that makes someone bi? Is the emphasis here on the bi or the sexual?
• Are you bisexual for liking and engaging in sex in two particular ways?
• Where do genderqueer or genderfluid identities fit into our notions of bisexuality? (Defining “genderqueer” or “genderfluid” as a terms which suggest that aside from transgender identities that are rooted in ‘man’ and ‘woman’ that there are also people who’s gender identities transgress those boundries; who may identify as neither or both genders, or with a notion of an alternate or ‘third’ gender. These terms suggest also that there are individuals who are comfortable with, or who have an expectation of a gender identity that continues to shift and redefine itself.)
• If bisexual people are to be at the forefront of the struggles against bi-phobia and homophobia, shouldn’t fighting transphobia and all gender-based oppression also be a part of the bisexual struggle?
• Furthermore, broadening the scope of this non-quiz—does answering any of these questions imply that there are universal bisexual values?
• Who creates those values, is it the bisexual-identified majority? Is there a bisexual majority?

Again, all of these questions devolve and boil down to a simple question of, "who am I?" For myself I see trans gendered people as well, people the same as the rest of us. Yes, they're facing their own unique set of struggles in life. Gee, are we all not facing our own struggles unique to ourselves?

Compassion and empathy tainted with a bit of dignity, respect go a long way to let me feel comfortable to "walk with kings, nobles as well as murders and commoners". That same comfort applies to trans-gendered people who i refer to as butterflies. If they are M-F I will treat them like the lady desire being, if F-M I treat them as the gentleman they desire being. You can understand their choice/s by observing, listening, caring. I could have said that you can discern their choice/s by being human, yet there's humans which fail in passing a lot traits of kindness up. I find this as an axiom of living, sadly but truly.

That's my food for thought, in other news I offer apologies for being so long away. Life seems to unwind at times for all of us. We need attend living no matter our sexual orientations, colors, ideas, religions. Love to all.

[void()]

well im not sure even about my self as i love males and females and transgenders so like this story how would i say that im bisexual are am i some thing else im not sure in reality i like sex with anyone so what would i call myself

Call yourself the simple term, ... me. It's okay and fine to be just you. Labels and boxes exist only for those seeking use of the us vs. them notion and what it might entail. I am merely myself and others can accept that and choose to like it, or not. It doesn't matter to me much either way their choice, I cannot control their actions, only my response to them. So, why be too bothered over them liking me or not? I'm not. *chuckles* Everything is for a reason I'm sure but at times cigars are just cigars.

As much as you need patience, compassion with others, so to do you need it for yourself. In that spirit let yourself define you as you and not be too concerned with what someone else defines you as being. Their definitions only hold power for you, if you choose letting them. Yes, here I advocate and practice going without a mask. It is highly liberating.

[void()]

Most of nature exist somewhere in the middle between here and there.

One of the many reasons you are so loved as a person by me. I say this in as platonic a spirit as I can, although yes I do think some of the baser urges could apply with some phenomenal aspects.

Recently asked my wife if she could see me involved with someone trans-gender. She just laughed and said that was a silly question, she knew I could love and enjoy sex with anyone and it should be realized by anyone that comes to know me.

Well here a few more . If you get extras, please pass them on to someone you think might need them being sure to give them extra. Together as humanity we can hug our troubles away.