Gay Bath house Questions

[Man for Man]

Hi Guys, I'm not in the habit of posting mostly just read about other guys experiences, however I've got a few questions that I'm hoping for some feedback

I've gone to a Bathhouse twice now with my long term FWB, and we are both uncertain of the etiquette of what to expect and how to observe. We have taken a room, which to date we have only used ourselves. The first time, we hardly left the room, and were so self-conscious we couldn't even look at the other guys that were there. The second time we managed to go have showers and went into the steam room, where there were a few other guys sucking each other. My friend was quite excited so I sucked him as well for awhile, before the heat got a bit overwhelming (the steam was so thick you couldn't really see anyone else, but you could hear them. We did wander a bit, with towels wrapped around us, and had one young fellow follow us for a bit (we are both late 60's, not certain why he was interested in us), but neither of us knew really what to do in this situation. Also while we were walking around we were uncertain if it's okay to opening look at other guys. My conditioning in particular is so strong I have a hard time looking at other men, but I'd like to get over it, if it's okay to do it. My FWB and I both had great orgasms in our room, and the second time didn't hold in the sounds of our orgasms. Have to say we enjoy hearing other men cumming as well. It's quite the turn on! We are sorry we waited so long to have this experience, and it's definitely less expensive and more exciting than a hotel...lol!

Anyway guess I've rambled enough, it's time for the questions:

1.Is it okay to openly look at the men showering and walking around
2. Is it okay to openly watch the men having sex in the public areas
3. How do I react if another man approaches either of us, we only have sex with each other, however we would be willing to stroke and caress another fellows body and penis, but we won't use our mouths, or fuck or be fucked. As well we would only allow our penises be touch. Would this be looked on as something strange? We are both very risk adverse of catching disease, and feel this is the best way of staying safe. At this point we really aren't even sure if we are going to to this far.
4. Is there anything I've missed that we should be aware of that is or is not permissible while we are there.
5. Is it okay to be a bit vocal in our room, especially when we cum?
6. Are we too old to be going there. Most of the guys we've seen are considerably younger than we are....I'm sure they look at us and think oh my god no....lol!

Thanks for any and all responses.

[jjourneyman]

Hi Guys, I'm not in the habit of posting mostly just read about other guys experiences, however I've got a few questions that I'm hoping for some feedback

I've gone to a Bathhouse twice now with my long term FWB, and we are both uncertain of the etiquette of what to expect and how to observe. We have taken a room, which to date we have only used ourselves. The first time, we hardly left the room, and were so self-conscious we couldn't even look at the other guys that were there. The second time we managed to go have showers and went into the steam room, where there were a few other guys sucking each other. My friend was quite excited so I sucked him as well for awhile, before the heat got a bit overwhelming (the steam was so thick you couldn't really see anyone else, but you could hear them. We did wander a bit, with towels wrapped around us, and had one young fellow follow us for a bit (we are both late 60's, not certain why he was interested in us), but neither of us knew really what to do in this situation. Also while we were walking around we were uncertain if it's okay to opening look at other guys. My conditioning in particular is so strong I have a hard time looking at other men, but I'd like to get over it, if it's okay to do it. My FWB and I both had great orgasms in our room, and the second time didn't hold in the sounds of our orgasms. Have to say we enjoy hearing other men cumming as well. It's quite the turn on! We are sorry we waited so long to have this experience, and it's definitely less expensive and more exciting than a hotel...lol!

Anyway guess I've rambled enough, it's time for the questions:

1.Is it okay to openly look at the men showering and walking around
2. Is it okay to openly watch the men having sex in the public areas
3. How do I react if another man approaches either of us, we only have sex with each other, however we would be willing to stroke and caress another fellows body and penis, but we won't use our mouths, or fuck or be fucked. As well we would only allow our penises be touch. Would this be looked on as something strange? We are both very risk adverse of catching disease, and feel this is the best way of staying safe. At this point we really aren't even sure if we are going to to this far.
4. Is there anything I've missed that we should be aware of that is or is not permissible while we are there.
5. Is it okay to be a bit vocal in our room, especially when we cum?
6. Are we too old to be going there. Most of the guys we've seen are considerably younger than we are....I'm sure they look at us and think oh my god no....lol!

Thanks for any and all responses.

I can't speak to gay bath houses as I've never been to one. But I can speak to regular gyms where I've met up with other male lovers.

First, never speak openly in a gym. I worked as a janitor while in college at a gym while I lived in California. I observed a lot of guys having sex in the stalls. It was kind of a turn-on, but I learned how the game was played.

Because I worked there, I had free access to all of the equipment. One day, while working out doing bench presses, this guy came over and offered to spot me. I didn't need it, but I accepted his offer. He was wearing basketball shorts but was commando under. I couldn't help but look up and see his cock and balls. Afterward, he saw me in the locker room and slipped me his phone number to call him if I needed a job.

It took me a while to process, but eventually I did give him a call. He asked me to come in for an interview, which I did but I didn't get to see him. Only his assistant. I had to give a full resume with phone number and email address. The next day I got an email that I didn't recognize that only had a dick pick attached.

Normally I wouldn't even open anything like that, but that was the way it popped up. I thought that was odd and deleted it. The next morning I heard a voice coming from one of the stalls. "Did you get my pic?" I said yes, but I didn't know who it was from so I deleted it. That's when he came out of the shower and asked, "You suck cock don't you. Well, you're going to suck this one because it wants your hot little mouth."

Later that morning, after I punched out, I found myself in his car with his cock in my mouth getting pleasured as we sat at an abounded industrial building parking lot. For my efforts I got a big load of cum and a $40 tip along with a promise to get together soon.

[biguycancun]

Your question number 3 leads me to ask, why are you even bothering to go there? I can understand your exclusivity, but if sex with others is taboo, you can enjoy each other and watch infinite hours of online porn.

[jjourneyman]

To add to my earlier post, he was the first who approached me at the gym. The second was several years later when I was no longer a janitor, but a full member of the facility. He was a married guy named Mike who had a smoking hot wife. I knew because I would see them working out together all of the time.

One morning, it was in early January. The place was crowded as it got every year right after New Year's - everyone seemed to have a resolution to lose weight after the holidays. Anyway, all of us 'regulars' would always move to the front of the locker room to give the newbies a chance to shower and change clothes.

That morning, after a relatively hard workout, I went into the locker room to shower and shave. I rarely wore a large towel because I figured everyone had already seen me naked anyway. I just used one from the gym to dry with and would throw it in the hamper. As anyone who has ever been to a public gym like 24 Hour or LA Fitness knows, the lockers are usually stacked. Being so crowded, that particular day I took a lower locker as it was the only one available. As I was leaning against the sink, I saw Mike out of the corner of my eye, and as he walked past me, I felt something brush against my thigh.

At first I thought nothing of it. I mean the room was crowded and guys were literally standing in line to use the sinks. By the time I had finished shaving, I walked over to my locker to sit for a minute before getting dressed for work. That was when Mike walked over and put a leg up on the bench to get to his clothes, which were in the locker directly over mine. As he did, he let his towel drop and I got a full view. He quickly apologized, but I had a feeling it hadn't been an accident.

The next day was Saturday and the gym was fairly empty. I had come in for a make-up workout because my week had been so busy. That morning, just as I was getting out of the shower, I saw Mike coming in. As I was taking my time getting dressed, Mike came out naked and we started up a conversation. I couldn't help but catch more than a few glimpses of his cock. In all honesty, and in retrospect, I was trying to be obvious, but too obvious that anyone else would notice. I guess I got my point across because he asked me if I would want to go for a beer later? He said he had some errands to run that afternoon, but would be available later if I wanted to meet up with him. I told him sure because I had to some shopping too. He said great, how about if we meet at Chili's around 3 and grab a couple of brews, then he paused and added... or whatever. Then he asked me what I thought was a strange question. Do you live alone? I said yes, that I had a small one bedroom apartment a couple of miles from here, but yes, it's all mine as long as I pay the rent. We both laughed and he said, okay, I'll see you around 3 and the drinks will be on me.

I quickly finished dressing and left. As I sat in my car that morning my heart was pounding faster than what it was during my workout. Before stopping at the grocery store that morning I went to the drug store and bought a new box of condoms and an enema kit. I wanted to be prepared either way as I wasn't sure how the day would end up (literally).

I arrived at the restaurant promptly at three o'clock and found Mike already seated at the bar. We immediately moved to a booth away from the other patrons and ordered a round of drinks. Within minutes of our conversation he asked me point blank if I was gay? I think I said something flip like, "No, are you?" He kind of stared at me for a second and said, "Then why were you staring at my cock so much?" I said, "I'm not gay, but I didn't say I wasn't bi!"

That was the ice breaker. From there on he told me about how his wife wouldn't do oral or anal, and that other than their gym time (which he explained was mainly just for show) they really didn't have any relations. He even said they slept in separate bedrooms. I kind of found that hard to believe because she was super hot (I would have fucked her in a heartbeat) and he was really good looking too, but I did know that happens in some relationships.

By that time we were three rounds of drinks into the conversation. I asked him, so why the interest in me? He said that he had a feeling that I could give him some relief and that he wouldn't feel guilty that he would be cheating. I told him, well that makes sense on one level. I asked him point blank what he was looking for? He leaned across the table and told me he needed a bj and if I would let him to fuck me.

That was all I needed to hear and I suggested we go to my apartment to finish the conversation. I gave him my address and he agreed to follow me home. We spent the balance of that afternoon together. I gave him the long-awaited blowjob he'd been waiting for and after an hour or so, he got to have the anal intercourse he'd been wanting for at least 10 years. By the time he left, he was pretty well spent and my jaws and ass were sore.. but happy. He didn't use condoms so I was treated to a large load in my mouth, as well as one in my ass.

The next Monday, he was again there with his wife. She was oblivious to the fact that her husband and I had spent an evening together, but we knew. We spent more time together after that and nobody was the wiser.

[BackyardShaman]

Hi there first of all I’ve never been to one of these bathhouses but I felt like in question #2 you talk about guys in a public area, do you mean guys are naked I the public area?? This is where I would think it’d likely be ok to look guys over and carefully cop a feel if the guy seems receptive, and if you two smile and look receptive they would cop a feel from you. I may have the wrong idea here, but always ask. I compare it to a rather large Adult Book Store near me with a large viewing area with a public area as well as several booths. That public area has some couches and chairs with straight porn on a big screen playing. You almost never see women there and you’ll find guys with their pants down or off and approaches occur. I wonder if it’s similar at the Bathhouse? Also I’ve always been politely asked if they can touch me, if I want a handjob or a blowjob and if so we go to a booth.

[Footstep40]

1.Is it okay to openly look at the men showering and walking around- yes absolutely!
2. Is it okay to openly watch the men having sex in the public areas-Yes absolutely!
3. How do I react if another man approaches either of us, we only have sex with each other, however we would be willing to stroke and caress another fellows body and penis, but we won't use our mouths, or fuck or be fucked. As well we would only allow our penises be touch. Would this be looked on as something strange? We are both very risk adverse of catching disease, and feel this is the best way of staying safe. At this point we really aren't even sure if we are going to to this far.-it is up to you how far you and your guy want to take it with a stranger.
4. Is there anything I've missed that we should be aware of that is or is not permissible while we are there.- don’t be high or under the influence.make eye contact before touching another. Ask before as well. Be polite to others, they are there for the same reasons you are, they aren’t judging you.
5. Is it okay to be a bit vocal in our room, especially when we cum?-1000000%!
6. Are we too old to be going there. Most of the guys we've seen are considerably younger than we are....I'm sure they look at us and think oh my god no....lol!- nope. You’re not too old at all, sounds like you have a great time there!

[Man for Man]

Thanks guys for the feedback, we had our third experience yesterday at Steamworks and we were much more relaxed. I guess I really did know the answers to my questions, was just feeling a bit uncertain and insecure (thank you Footstep 40, your responses were what I was looking for). Anyway we went yesterday fairly early in the day and made out in our room for a while before we went to the shower. I thought I may be a bit self conscious because I stayed half hard, but actually didn't feel any of the anxiety I thought I would. After the shower we went into the steam room, there were a number of guys in there, one was being fucked and came over and asked to suck my FWB, which was politely declined....I notice guys don't seem to say much they just participate or stand and make their intent known. FWB and I started making out, and finally he sucked me for a bit, then I sucked him; while I was sucking him another guy came over and stood closely to us watching while he was stroking himself, I almost offered to stroke him, but couldn't quite make that happen, though my instinct...lol...says that we would have been open to the experience. Anyway we both have discovered we are a bit of exhibitionists' as well as voyeurs, though our original restrictions still apply and are very unlikely to change. It didn't take all that long until I found the heat a bit much so we cooled down in the shower and went to our room, where we proceeded to enjoy ourselves without feeling self conscious of any noises we may make....and also enjoyed hearing other guys enjoying themselves. Somehow it's so much better than porn! We were there for about 3 hours, the place was fairly full and there were fellows of all ages and sizes, all looking for a good time. I didn't notice at the time, but when I was coming back from the shower to our room a fellow followed me, I guess expecting to be invited in, but I wasn't aware and he never said anything, so i closed the door, not meaning to be rude. It was my friend who told me after the door was closed. Anyway so far the experience has been good, we are both feeling more relaxed and starting to look at the other guys (it's amazing how ingrained my conditioning is, not to look, but it is something I'm willing to overcome....) Anyway we will visit likely again in a couple of weeks.

[Flipper60]

Wow, thank you for sharing your journey! It makes me want to experience a bath house, and see how open I would be to it. Adding to your questions, are un-partnered guys welcomed to just watch and wank in the hopes of an invitation? If so, I raise my hand lol.

I would love to be butt naked and stroking it to two guys enjoying themselves, even if they didn’t offer to let me in on their fun. I’m going to do it to some pron right now!!!

Thanks guys for the feedback, we had our third experience yesterday at Steamworks and we were much more relaxed. I guess I really did know the answers to my questions, was just feeling a bit uncertain and insecure (thank you Footstep 40, your responses were what I was looking for). Anyway we went yesterday fairly early in the day and made out in our room for a while before we went to the shower. I thought I may be a bit self conscious because I stayed half hard, but actually didn't feel any of the anxiety I thought I would. After the shower we went into the steam room, there were a number of guys in there, one was being fucked and came over and asked to suck my FWB, which was politely declined....I notice guys don't seem to say much they just participate or stand and make their intent known. FWB and I started making out, and finally he sucked me for a bit, then I sucked him; while I was sucking him another guy came over and stood closely to us watching while he was stroking himself, I almost offered to stroke him, but couldn't quite make that happen, though my instinct...lol...says that we would have been open to the experience. Anyway we both have discovered we are a bit of exhibitionists' as well as voyeurs, though our original restrictions still apply and are very unlikely to change. It didn't take all that long until I found the heat a bit much so we cooled down in the shower and went to our room, where we proceeded to enjoy ourselves without feeling self conscious of any noises we may make....and also enjoyed hearing other guys enjoying themselves. Somehow it's so much better than porn! We were there for about 3 hours, the place was fairly full and there were fellows of all ages and sizes, all looking for a good time. I didn't notice at the time, but when I was coming back from the shower to our room a fellow followed me, I guess expecting to be invited in, but I wasn't aware and he never said anything, so i closed the door, not meaning to be rude. It was my friend who told me after the door was closed. Anyway so far the experience has been good, we are both feeling more relaxed and starting to look at the other guys (it's amazing how ingrained my conditioning is, not to look, but it is something I'm willing to overcome....) Anyway we will visit likely again in a couple of weeks.

[Flipper60]

Also Man For Man, you should consider turning this into a blog post for the board. I for one would really enjoy following the progression of you and your guy’s visits.

[fredward]

I've been to a lot of bathhouses over the last 10 years or so in several countries. The "rules" are more or less the same everywhere. Note that these are NOT the same rules as you might use at a (real) gym. I don't cruise gyms myself, tho I've had a few knowing glances over the years.

In bathhouses:
– Anyone who is shy or doesn't want to be watched will get a room and keep the door closed. Anyone having sex or strutting their stuff anywhere else can be openly looked at / watched.
– It's often OK to watch guys in their room if they leave the door open, tho always ask before touching.
– Guys should ask before touching, but sometimes they grope a bit without asking. This is esp true in the dark rooms; if you go to a dark room, you're implicitly saying your OK with being groped.
– In practice, if you just say "no thanks" politely, guys will leave you alone. I've never had a guy persist beyond that point. I've never felt threatened in a sauna (I'm average sized).
– Be as vocal as you like anywhere in the sauna.
– You're never too old to go. Some saunas seem to attract an older crowd than others. Also, the crowd at any given sauna can be very different age wise depending on the time/day
– Some sauna attract druggies. Best to stay away from anyone who seems stoned.