So, last nght I was with this guy, he was a little too exciteable...........apaprently he has a Cd fetish. Well okay. What i didnt know was I was the first he was with, and it was his first time with a guy.
Everything was going well, then all of a sudden he had a panic attack
Needless to say, no happy ending.
I found my self having to say
"It happens to all guys at least once in a life time, no sweat"
" Noo No No, it was great"
A little performance anxiety I guess! Unfortunately you got left holding...well nothing!
Hi Jazimine,Originally Posted by Jazminedress
Thankfully, I've never had to deal with a guy having a panic attack (I'm not sure how I would react if that happened), but I have experienced a few who have had performance issues.
I recall one time I had a married friend who came to my apartment and he was hard as a rock when he got there. I had given him several blowjobs in the past and he never had an issue. On this particular occasion, after a little oral foreplay, he asked me if we could fuck. I agreed and told him sure. But as soon as he stepped up to the plate, so to speak, he went limp. I thought it was probably just a temporary thing, so I sucked him again until he was hard. On the second try, he managed to work the head of his cock in, but he couldn't maintain his hard on. It was a big waa-waa. I could tell he was getting frustrated and probably embarrassed, so I gave him the option of just giving him a hand job with an offer to re-schedule. He opted for the latter and got dressed and left.
A few hours later he text me an apology and wanted to know when would be a good time to get together again. We made a date for later that week, but he never showed or attempted to let me know that he couldn't make it. That was the last time I heard from him, although I had made several attempts to reach him.
My guess was that his wife had probably found out about our encounter(s) or that he may have just lost interest. Either way, I just chalked it up to being one of those things.
Yeah, I've had guys suffer panic attacks, performance problems, having that last second crisis of faith aka what the fuck am I doing when I know this is wrong? I've had to talk down many a guy; I've had to let guys know that when you get too excited, you might not be able to get or keep it up so let's just stop and take a moment and when you feel ready, we can start again. I've been with guys who have gotten totally pissed the fuck off, frustrated, and embarrassed because they freaked out, couldn't perform, etc., and I try to tell them that... it happens. It can even happen to the most experienced of us although, in truth, I've seen this happen more with new guys than with experienced guys.
How do women deal with this? Not very well. It's not like they don't know about the things that can, essentially, cripple us and prevent us from having sex and many women say that they understand and that it's okay... but it really isn't and the next time you get in an argument about not taking the trash out, she is very likely going to bring up that time where you weren't man enough to have sex with her. Sure, some women can overlook this because, again, they know it happens and it's probably happened to them and more than once or twice and there's no point in tearing a man down because of it.
Having it happen to guys I was eager to have sex with (a) taught me some stuff about men and (b) taught me to not kick a man in the balls when he's down like that and more so when, um, I've had a couple of those "can't get it up right now" moments that called for me to stop and chill until I'm calmer and, oh, look: My dick is hard! I do think that for some guys and when this happens to them, it can be a killer and especially if they were talking "shit" about how they were gonna do you up nice and proper and other such things that guys tend to say and then... something like this happens and it's even more humiliating for them. I seem to recall that the last time a guy freaked out on me and couldn't continue; he was worried about not being able to get me off and I said, "That's okay - it's why I have two hands..."
I think you're right Kdaddy. I would add that women probably tend to internalize situations like that. Without trying to sound stereotypical, it's more of what's wrong with me? Am I too fat? Too skinny? etc... With men, we know there is a whole taboo aspect to MM or extramarital sex in general, so it's not surprising that you sometimes run into a "shy" penis. It's one of those things that happens to some guys. They may have the fantasy, but when it comes time to do the real thing, they either back out completely or they can't get their dick to cooperate. And there are medical issues that come into play as well that can't be ruled out.
If there is one thing I've learned over the years it's that when it comes to sex, men and women are wired very differently. My ex-girlfriend and I lived together for nearly four years. We had sex every morning and usually once again in the evening at bedtime. I can honestly say that I would have 10 orgasms and she would have none, unless we were in for a whole day and she could work up to it. Then she would have five or more in a single session. Of course, the pressure would be on me to stay hard and ensure the climaxes kept cumming before I did. But, having said that, if I missed a morning without sex, and god forbid, we didn't have sex that evening, it was game on in terms of, "What's wrong? Why didn't you want me this morning/evening?" It didn't matter if she came or not, but she knew I usually wanted sex at least once a day. It was her way of satisfying me and (I presume) assuring that I wouldn't be tempted by other females in my office (which there were plenty).
We, as guys, we are wired to get in and get out. It's a natural thing. Women are more nurturing and need a lot more attention before they are mentally prepared for orgasm. I think the bottom line is that as we age, our hormones change but our desires don't diminish at the same rate. So, if a guy can't stay hard, it can be physical or mental. It's just what it is for whatever reason.
Jasmine,
Well pat yourself on the back!
You got this poor guy's engine revving so fast he had a Panic Attack...
I hope you are walking around looking like the Cat that ate the canary!
Good for you!
If it is to be, let it be with me
I just think he bit off more than he could chew... or at least could swallow (no pun intended). I think more than half of the guys on this site would eat through a rope of barbed wire to be with you. So just because one guy couldn't keep it up... like you said, no sweat.
Well, Jaz you were just too overwhelmingly hot for him. LOL jjourneyman you are the stud. Most men would kill to have that kinda stamina.
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