I cheat on my wife with men

[dzamzi]

I'm a happily married guy. I don't run around on my wife with other women. But I do occasionally seek out sex with random strangers. I think it's because it's something my wife can't give me. I know she would be hurt if she found out but I can't let my life go by without giving in to my true desires. I have told my wife of my desires in the past but she doesn't want to hear about it. I'm interested to hear from other guys who meet up with strangers for a Bj in the park or what have you. Interested in hearing your thoughts. I can't give up the practice simply because I love giving head too much. It is a part of who I am

[j4u42]

It sounds like a guilt complex because you have a sense of decency about you. One can easily rationalize this as like you said, she doesn't have the "apparatus" that men have. With her only, you cannot experience sucking a real cock. There will be some who will answer you with their condemnations and try laying the guilt trip on you. I agree with you however. Life is short. Enjoy it while you can because all too soon the party is over. Why not enjoy giving a guy your mouth every once in a while? You like doing it. No doubt He enjoys it. It doesn't mean you love your wife any less. She just doesn't have a dick and balls. No ones fault it is just the way it is. It's just sex. No love involved just a step further than masturbation. Taking on another woman is a different story. Even then though there may be some credence if the wife for example stopped having sex for whatever reasons be it boredom, fear menopause. When a wife does that, I feel she is cheating the guy of one of life's greatest pleasures. Then you might ask, Who is cheating who?

[dzamzi]

I do have some guilt about it. I wish I didn't have to do it behind her back. I would love it if she let me bring an occasional friend into our bedroom. I would absolutely love to see her hook up with another man. But unfortunately she isn't in to it. I may be justifying my actions but I don't want to stop doing something I enjoy so much. I'll probably never stop. I just enjoy giving head so much.

[bbginva]

My wife isn't into it either. I occasionally meet men for sex and I stopped feeling guilty a long time ago. You can't control your sexual desires so have fun. It does not mean you don't love and cherish her.

[cuttin2dachase]

You said it yourself...it's (cock) something your wife can't give you, but you crave it. It's obvious you don't want to give up cock on the side and it's causing guilt feelings. Guilt is a very negative emotion and feelings of guilt are self-destructive. If you can pursue mm sex safely and discreetly and without neglecting or stealing time and money from your obligations at home, then go for it ! Consider it a hobby that you pursue on your own time. Here's a parallel: There's a certain food you love (the parallel here is cock), but your wife neither can or will ever serve it at home. Because you love her and she loves you and because of all the many other things she does dish out for you, you don't want to cause disharmony, so you don't fuss about it or demand it. But a couple or 3 times a month you take your lunch break and go have that food from one or more of the many places (the parallel here is men) that serve it. Or you stop after work and have it....or when your family is away for the whole day or night you order it in for delivery or you go to a takeout place for it. Is it cheating on your wife and family if you do it on your own time and don't mention to any of them that you had that food or how often you had it? It matters not how you justify it to yourself, as long as you can justify it so as not to have feelings of guilt and shame.

[pepperjack]

My wife isn't into it either. I occasionally meet men for sex and I stopped feeling guilty a long time ago. You can't control your sexual desires so have fun. It does not mean you don't love and cherish her.

This is an absolutely bullshit argument ! Yes, you CAN control your sexual desires just like you can curb your tongue at times and tolerate, endure physical discomfort, pain. I've been turning married, cheating guys down for years that I really wanted to suck; it was torturous at times but it can be done. It just depends on how committed you are to your moral compass.

And yes, if you're deceiving her, betraying her.....you're not loving her.

[Realist]

I hesitate to be the pot calling the kettle black, here...but...I've been guilty of the same thing, in a distant time.

I was gonna say something similar to Pepperjack's comments. Having cheated in the past, I'm no angel myself, and as I just wrote in another post, the guilt finally overcame me.

But, my biggest issue with you is, you are apparently meeting strangers, who you know nothing about. If only one of them shares a disease with you, you are more than likely going to share it with your wife.....and other partners!

You'll never know who those guys have been with, or what they did with them. If you MUST continue to have encounters with other males, I suggest you only do it with those who you know well and trust.

Can you conceive of the storm that you'll create, if you give your wife an STD........ or worse?

[redngoldpride]

I have been bisexual since I was 14 years of age single never married and been part of the safe lifestyles group since I was 16 yo I have been involved with both f/m , couples , str8 , bi , gay , and trans gender I am not out to ruin anybodys marriage or out people in the closet some of my partners need discretion because of a spouse or partner when they get with me usually thier need is to the point of desperate desires and passion and when they leave whether it is for just a few hours or days they leave so much happier , content and relaxed and at ease with themselves , some have eventually come out to their partner with mixed results nobody knows your partner like you I love it both the hot secret excitement the sexiness of them being able to just cut loose and be hot uninhibited sexual person that they are , that they need to be , and I must say quite a few ended up including their spouse or partner and more times than not they ended up very pleased with seeing each other as never before ........ Good luck and hang in there , you only live once never ever cheat yourself or your loved one

[dickylic]

Totally agreee!

[Christopher South]

Guys get with other guys for a number of reasons. Some guys feel the need to bond with other guys. Others have that "itch" that they need to get scratched every week/month/year. Other guys just need a sexual outlet and some of those guys view getting their sexual needs met by another guy either less or not even cheating.

My view is yes, I'm cheating. My wife and I had the sex discussion several times and it hasn't gone anywhere and our sex life is at zero so I have gone elsewhere to have those needs met. She knows I have had sex with guys in the past and it almost killed our marriage. We worked on it, I made some changes but she hasn't. So instead of me walking around frustrated and angry at her, I'm getting my needs met elsewhere. And once sex is taken off the table between us, we get along much better.

If I had to take a guess, I'd say she knows what I'm doing. I went from pestering her almost daily about our sex life to absolutely no interest in having sex with her. I make decent pay, bring my entire pay check home, keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, no expensive hobbies that take time and money away from her and meet with fuckbuddies to take care of that part of my life.

[Shefford]

Agree with most of the comments , dzamzi I am in a very similar situation. I am married 40 years love my wife very much but last year discovered I love sucking cock. Still have sex with my wife but we have gone from 6 times a month to once or twice and only on my constant pestering. We married young and are both under 60 yo. I have been going 2-4 times a month to a local ABS and there are always 15-20 guys there in the same situation . My wife was never into BJ's so I have to say I have had some incredible blow jobs and have sucked around 75 cocks since November at this place. I can never tell her she wouldn't understand but it is a pleasure I can't give up .

[DLazguy]

I am also happily married and we have an amazing sex life, but there are just some things that my wife can't do. My wife doesn't have a cock and I want to suck dick. There's a rush that I can't explain about having a hard cock in your mouth. She also can't fuck me. I don't want to get pegged. I want a real cock, attached to a man, fucking me and pumping his cum into me. The sneaking around and cheating is a rush altogether, but thinking about her while there's a big, hard cock in my mouth is unbelievable.

[julyguybill]

There are many guys like the ones here that are married
And really love sex with other men. I started enjoying
Sucking guys in my 30s .Now in my 60s I want to suckguys frequently and yes I am married. I seldom get out .My wife would never understand and divorce would happen should she find out. I do not feel it's cheating. We are human and have desires that overwhelm a guy.

[DMercator]

if you're deceiving her, betraying her.....you're not loving her.

I agree with your point that one can (or at least "should" be able to) control whether you act out on your desires or not, but it's simplistic to think that this is a black and white issue. Anyone that has been married for a long time can tell you that relationships are complicated. Deceiving and betraying are not exclusive of loving. Indeed, it can be rationalized that part of why someone deceives their spouse is precisely because they do love them and don't want to lose them or destroy their marriage.

We can throw-up on that idea and argue that someone should just buck up and come clean and to hell with their relationship. We can equally argue that, if they value their relationship they should just accept a life without sexual fulfillment (or in the case of many married men a life that is all but celibate). One can make all kinds of judgements on what someone else should value and hold paramount, but in the end, each of us has to decide for ourselves what matters when it comes to what, who, and how we love and have sex.

[DD788Snipe]

Very well said DMercator.

[jjourneyman]

Guys get with other guys for a number of reasons. Some guys feel the need to bond with other guys. Others have that "itch" that they need to get scratched every week/month/year. Other guys just need a sexual outlet and some of those guys view getting their sexual needs met by another guy either less or not even cheating.

My view is yes, I'm cheating. My wife and I had the sex discussion several times and it hasn't gone anywhere and our sex life is at zero so I have gone elsewhere to have those needs met. She knows I have had sex with guys in the past and it almost killed our marriage. We worked on it, I made some changes but she hasn't. So instead of me walking around frustrated and angry at her, I'm getting my needs met elsewhere. And once sex is taken off the table between us, we get along much better.

If I had to take a guess, I'd say she knows what I'm doing. I went from pestering her almost daily about our sex life to absolutely no interest in having sex with her. I make decent pay, bring my entire pay check home, keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, no expensive hobbies that take time and money away from her and meet with fuckbuddies to take care of that part of my life.

I agree with ChrisSouth. Most of my FWBs have been with married guys who've been in long term relationships with their wives. For one reason or another, the wife will stop having sex. They (the guys) still stay together with their spouse for a number of reasons... love, financial reasons, status, etc. But at some point, they are looking for a sexual outlet. In most cases, they will justify having a sexual encounter with another man as "NOT Cheating." They don't want to risk getting a female prostitute and getting caught. Or, it may just be an internal desire to step into the taboo with another man. Either way, it's a temporary escape and way to get some relief.

[KDaddy23]

There have always been those who will cheat with someone of the same sex and say that it's not cheating on their partner because they're not doing it with someone of the opposite sex. Just because someone will go this route doesn't mean that they don't love their partner although it's easy to assume/say that if you love them, you won't cheat on them and... love rarely has anything to do with this since this is all about taking care of a need that's no longer being taken care of.

Since the late 1970s, I've heard men and women use the "it ain't cheating" exception when their same sex activities have been discovered and sometimes, it was accepted and the relationship continued and sometimes with the partner doing a little extramarital stuff as well and, yup, if it's same sex, it ain't cheating. But it really is, and I've heard people say that they're guilty with reason and no longer having sex at home could be seen as a good reason as well as if someone needs dick/pussy, their partner doesn't have what's needed so... go out and get it and as long as you're prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions. I know guys who have cheated - and with me - and they firmly believed that their lady didn't know but, yeah, she did, and one woman told me, "I'm good with it because he ain't bugging me to have sex with him!"

And they stayed together, too. We know that this situation tends not to go well and can result in destroyed relationships...